callmemara

These are the dark days. When no amount of light can force itself in to your crumbling world, This cave that you dwell in away from probing eyes and words too loud for your fragile state. It’s an escape and a prison. You’re free and you’re bound by the black that is encroaching upon this place, Violating the thick walls you’ve built and marring your once hopeful heart. Others are unassuming as they pass by – their very nearness so insignificant and yet so fatal to your spirit. Every once hoarded ounce of energy is spent to appease them, And yet you are left there with the broken bloodied pieces, Waiting till the

Oh, my heavy, heavy heart My so very foolish heart You've destroyed everything, once again Oh heart, how could you lead me to him? To that bright star in my night sky? To the perfection that made me hope, dream, and feel alive beneath the gaze of his blue eyes I wonder if he looks at her that way If the way he says her name makes her heart swoon Does she feel for him the way I do? Did her heart lead her there, too? Why have you done this to me, when I was happy to be alone? Oh, betrayer Treachery and deceptiveness are your vices You made me believe in him and me I went willingly If only just to feel the presence of his being

How easy it is Walking with you Like the sun rising up And greeting morning dew How calming your presence When you come close to me Like after a storm In the wide open sea Your smile so warm Your eyes so bright Love bursting forth Like the breaking of light I have dreamed you up All of my life Have you waited for me? Like day waits for night? If only you'd say What I have longed to hear Like beauty, like truth, So is my love for you, dear

He is beautiful beyond compare Effervescent He shines as pure light His lips and words as sweet as honey to my soul flow in the air between us Resting on my spirit He is so gentle, so patient There is no rush when I'm with Him No need for other thoughts Time stops And His laugh meets mine as our joy intertwines Oh, He has the most beautiful laugh He is infectious I love Him Every part of Him He whispers in my ear, secrets Meant only for me His smile reassures me I am so thankful for each moment spent in His presence Under His covering He is sun and moon and stars and earth and sky and all that is good and perfect He is br

Lonely like a river flowing alongside the shore knowing that the two are never the same Lonely like a dream that is never fully understood Lonely like one single word Lonely like a heartbeat Lonely like the spray of the sea that doesn't fall on flesh Lonely like a single note of a melody when the rest is forgotten Lonely like a voice crying out in the wilderness Lonely like a snowflake that melts before it meets ground Lonely like the desert sand Lonely like stale air Lonely like wind in infinite space Lonely like a young girl who writes pretty thoughts for no one

I miss you. Like words to a song that play in my mind, I don't know the tune but I can still hear the rhyme, And there you are. You made me believe in those pretty things you said, As you slowly made your way out of the door and into my head, And you're never there. I put my trust in you. My faith, the essence of my life, my hope and breath. Like the rain that lightly falls on my face, Leaving only memories of wet where it used to hold a place, You haunt me. I can't escape the way you once invaded my life. But I have to let go, or this night, This blackness that surrounds my lonely little world, Will never turn to white. But I

There's a place inside Drowning in doubt and fear Where I go to hide You will find me there Locked away from the world Dreaming of a prayer That could take me away Into Your arms Make me whole Until I belong And in this place Of days passing by I can't see Your face I am covered in black As if I am already lost And there's no way back And still I dream One day You'll come Make me whole Until I belong Though I'm kept away From everything and everyone I don't have to stay To me it's safer here To slowly die away from it all But it's becoming clear That the darkness is More than I can bear Take my hand Lead me away f

Oh, lover I hear those voices again Telling me I'm pathetic And not worthy of you And since you're not here to dispute them I've begun to believe That all that they say is true I wonder As I search Across great divides Always looking, hoping Longing for your strength Your tenderness Your truth Lover, please come home to me I promise I won't be what they tell me I am I'll be everything you want me to be Please Find me

Alone she sits peering up towards the space that surrounds her as if someone should appear She is wearing that red dress The one that hugs her skin so tight it becomes like second flesh It smooths and glides over her curves dancing about her legs giving her room to move and sway She stands out against the night's backdrop But to whom?

I cry because it helps me I cry because I want to I cry because it soothes me I cry because it's fun I cry because there is nothing left for me to do I cry to write my stories I cry to live out my stories I cry for love I cry for hate I cry for peace I cry for war I cry for life I cry for immortality I cry because it's my friend I cry because I won't be alone I cry like the first cut in the construction paper I cry because it's my way of doing things I cry to let it all out I cry to mend my heart I cry to stop the bleeding I cry to start over I cry to take it all back I cry like I am stopping time to relive the past I c

she spent years telling herself that her ribcage was a keyboard and that her body was a twisted, deformed stick, eager to be broken and staring herself down in the mirror, she would tell herself you. are. hideous. uglyuglyuglyuglydontlookatyourselfuglyuglyugly she was falling in love just to fall out of it and breaking her heart just to experience the feeling of it falling apart she devoted hours of each day to convincing herself that she walked to the wrong beat and sang in the wrong key and lived in a world overflowing with pain she cut red lines across her wrists drew crippled hearts across her walls smeared blood across h

it is the third of october and i am building a castle for us out of feathers, bird bones, ocean waves and library book pages. anything to keep our feet from touching the ground. you are sin, he whispers and his fingers trail cold fire down my side, scorching flesh and freezing bone; brittle pieces of me shatter as they hit the stained linoleum floor. don't wake me from this nightmare. i whisper a nursery rhyme as i walk down our autumn path. kamikaze leaves fall, trailing fire as they throw themselves from the branches, down, down, to cold pavement below. your words echo in my mind a constant reminder that i am sin but you, you were ne

and for once, he slips on his wedding ring, to cure the monotony.  it slides over his knuckle, a perfect fit, and in the morning release of sunlight the silver gleams at him.  it glares, calling him a liar: she is not a whorehouse and you are too broke to own her, you harlot, you.  he buttons up, tucks in his shirt tail, and buckles his belt.  the clinking of metal parts is the only sound in the room besides the dusting of her breathing beside him.  and when he's gone, the only thing he leaves behind are the bruises on her collarbone. - you find him because you're lonely, (well, it's actually the opposite.)  he finds you because his wardrob

I had cried and cried Then I thought I would just stop because no one came

Cigarettes remind me of you I take them in comfort And times of consolation To take my mind off the world, My problems in it They work, Wonderfully, But mostly only for a little while They may be lovely while they last But when they’re gone, well, They’re gone And when I breathe The faintest traces Of mint and tobacco Smother my taste buds To ensure I don’t forget

once upon a time-- no wait, that's wrong. let's not start our story that way. many times, you find yourself in your bathtub, the water scalding and risen as high as the rim itself. you find yourself submerged and thrashing and screaming out for somebody to help you; you are being drowned. monsters as black as the sky are tearing at your ankles, cackling and pulling you down and out of sight and water splashes out of the tub and you are seeing nothing but old memories that stick to your throat when you can do nothing but cry. many times, you find yourself in your shower, curled up in a corner furthest from the water because you are afraid th

I can lay here all night, contently pondering about nothing in particular. After all, anything is better than having to face temptations of relapsing into the dark millennium that was once my entire life. Shattered, lay the pieces of my hope, everything I desired seemed so improbable and childish. But it doesn't matter now. The world moves so quickly in contrast to my paced breathing. Everything slows down, almost to a complete stop. Except for my thoughts; they remain at their steady flow, while everything else pauses for a moment or two-- a moment lasting hours and hours until the sun peeks from behind the roofs. Then dawn approaches and pa